This could just be the craziest thing I have ever been asked to do...even by itself it was insane. But if you consider the circumstances, it is even more ridiculous.
     
I'm sitting around watching TV, huge TV at that. But one with horrible satellite service and a lack of good channels. The couches and the coffee table belong to my aunt who moved away and couldn't bring them with her. There's a stereo thing that no one uses hidden in this sort of closet thing in the wall. On the walls there are frames and a statue, all dedicated to Jesus in some way (I think one to Virgin Mary).

My mom comes in. She's got her cell phone and she shows me a picture of this Guatemala kid about my age.
     
She says to me, "My friend asked me if I have a daughter."

Now I'm a daughter, and that's a kid about my age, asking if I exist. Meaning obviously he wants to hook up with a daughter about his age. Which would be me. I can't remember what I did exactly, but if I know me well, I probably laughed.

To understand why I laughed, I'm with someone, for almost a year now. And to add to seriousness, there's a baby on the way (there be more on this later...). I laugh at things like that. Sort of also because I am not attracted to other Hispanics. I don't think at this point that she is trying to set me up with someone different. Actually I don't think she ever was, but…

She shows me other pictures and I notice that the kid looks a lot like my supposed step-dad thing, (I'll go into why he's "supposed" later). Well that's because he is the guy's son.

I go to the kitchen and wash a cup, because I'm thirsty, (obviously). The kitchens sort of like a normal kitchen. It's got a white stove here, a smaller TV there, the table was disorganized (it was about to be cleaned, I think). The chairs have too much comfortable pillow things; I don't know what you call them. Oh well. We have two refrigerators 'cause for one the freezer doesn't work, and for the other, the bottom part doesn't work. Of course, something like that is common in our household.

"He's studying to be a mechanic."

I listen, but I am not really interested. I am just figuring out that this is the kid who keeps calling to speak to his dad who is never here.

"I want you to go to that country, and see if you could marry him, because you're an American, not for love, just for papers, so he could come over here…" (she doesn't speak English that clearly, and I think it was probably even more unclear than that was).

I don't even know how marrying the kid would help him get over to the US any easier, but do you want to know the exact words I thought when I heard it.

Hell. Fucking. No.

I'm telling you, that's exactly what I thought, and the worst curses I've ever used was "son of a bitch" and I don't say that out loud. I usually swear for emphasis, so that's probably what my mind was doing; adding emphasis to the rejection of that idea.

I mean, come on, that would be like marrying, no it IS, like marrying my step brother. And we can't forget I'm already with someone, (though it seems my mom forgot). I'm still a marriage-virgin (never married) and I don't think I want to waste it. So there's all that, and we are supposed to be a family who believes in God, so that's wrong in that sense too. It's wrong and crazy in every sense of my morals and everything. So you know what I said.

I said nothing.

I think it is such an obvious thing to reject, that I don't even need to. It should be already known that I am not going to do something like that. But she goes on about 15,000 or 20,000 dollars are in it for us, or for me, or for something, but it still doesn't matter.

"Why can't Sylvia do it?"

Sylvia's my older sister, and I don't know why my mom didn't consider this with her. I think she should be considered. I love her and everything, and wouldn't want her to fail, but to be honest… Her chances of relationship failure are higher than mine. She's had lots of, "this is the one" kind of boyfriends. I'll just say mine is my first, (even though I sort of had a first before him, who doesn't count), for a year now. I think a year is impressive considering chances that firsts last that long.

My mom says that my sister's not a citizen, and therefore she is useless in this situation.

Then she says…

"If you don't marry his son, you could marry my brother…"

"I can't marry your brother," I had to say something because that is worse. Would you want to marry your uncle? No, I didn't think so. My mom didn't get the incest-ness of it, she just went on to say that no one would know because his last name is Argueta and mine is Perez. It was to be played off as love, but not really love for real. Still, no way.

She says if I do this, it will help either my uncle or step brother come over to the US and they could find a job and the money earned will help some of the family over there. Like there's this one family member who has ear and eye problems and needs some sort of medical attention.

I still can't be hoaxed. I want to tell her, and I probably will if this conversation arises again, that there are other American Spanish girls out there that won't be entitled to unwanted marriage and incest. Probably because there are others.

It might sound like to some people that my mom's desperate to separate me from my boyfriend, but I don't think she hates him that much. Actually I don't think she hates him at all. But she suggested (it was more like a suggestion than an actual request, but still…) this like he didn't exist. She wasn't weighing my losses versus my gains; she just completely blotted out the obvious roadblock as though my relationship wasn't real.

She told me I should I think about it, and after a year or so, I could go over to that country and all that. But I won't spend any of that time even considering, and there's no way I am going to do that.

How's that to an introduction to my boring life?